Broken.

All of my pipes are broken. My first pipe ever, given to me by my biological mother when I was 16, was a 2" or so long just-a-little-more-than-a-one-hitter that had been fashioned to look like a little seashell. As a water sign (Cancer), a lover of all things aquatic, and at the time, very, VERY Pagan- I thought it incredibly appropriate. It broke a few years later while I was cleaning it, but just the stem- it was still technically smoke-able (and I used it many times after!!) until a few months ago, I got a toothpick very solidly STUCK, broken off in it. I could probably get it out if I fiddled with it for a while, but... more work than it's worth, I'm afraid. My next pipe, at least of the ones currently in my posession, (this isn't just pipe-list-story-time) is a beautiful blue glass pipe named Tenshi that my lovely husband bought for me when we first moved from the Northeast to South Central USA. Unfortunately, the whole bottom of the bowl broke through again, while I was cleaning her one day. Apparently I either suck at cleaning pipes (which is possible), or I need to quit buying/receiving lower-end quality pieces! (Probable)

My most recent pipe came by way of one of my best friends, my adopted brother. (I have a lot of "like my brother" friends, but he's my only REAL brother) His dad used to be a hippie, and long-story-short (long story maybe for another time), a group of my friends stumbled across his pipe, while my brother's family was living out of state. It's been passed around a few times among us- as my brother doesn't smoke- but he recently demanded that I have it, so.. I got it. Unfortunately, it's so old, there's a seal that leaks air/smoke - BAD. It's the pipe I've been using, without any problems, for at least six months now. But just a few days ago, I noticed a leak. Doesn't that suck?

I'm stuck with aluminum pipes. How ghetto and lame am I?

The story just gets better from there.

My husband invited two of our friends over this evening, to talk about mutual interests and hang out and do the whole 'being friends' thing. I was still in bed at like, 4:30 this afternoon. ... I had gone to bed at around 3am. That is 13.5 hours of sleep. I honestly could have kept sleeping. He woke me up though, telling me that they were on their way over and that I should well... get up. I stalled, pushing it off as long as I could, and then I even stalled in the bathroom long after they had arrived... but I knew I had to face them, if for no other reason than -everything I wanted- was in the living room/dining room/kitchen. I braced myself, and I really tried.



But just seeing them, having to look them in the eye, to try to have a conversation with them... it unnerved me, and terrified me, and made me feel like I was suffocating. If anyone, including my husband, even came near me while I sat on the other side of the room, desperately trying to immerse myself in the computer and my music and pretend that they weren't there, I would become tense, and short... to the point of hostility! And these are my friends! They're not just his friends, or just our friends... they're MY friends! I've spent hours upon HOURS really talking/getting to know one of them, and I've hung out extensively with the other... I like them, and I trust them, and they're my friends.

But I grabbed my diet soda, my sack, my ghetto aluminum pipe, my laptop and cord... and retreated to my bedroom.
I stacked the pillows (two body pillows, four fluffy regular pillows) to make a comfy sitting spot.
I plugged in the multi-colored Christmas lights that go around the room.
I plugged in the laptop and got settled in.
I wished for a blacklight, because my pretty posters don't look as pretty as they could with just darkness and little Christmas lights.
I turned on random music via my iTunes.

And I got high, and tried to do all I could to just calm the raging panic wracking my system.

Also, I really wish I had a TV in here with some video games. Something nice and old school, comfortable and familiar- like Sonic 3 for Sega Genesis, or Starfox 64 for Nintendo 64.