Grief (The Loss of a Mother- 14 months)

My Aunt, in her grief, sometimes describes feeling a great sense of loss over things that we'll never get to experience with Grandmama again- seeing her cooking in the kitchen, the way all of her signature dishes smelled coming through the vents of one of the back bedrooms when the AC kicked on in the summertime and woke you up from a nap, sun-bleached and vaguely chlorinated and caught in the grips of swimming-induced hunger. Watching her put on her makeup and the subtle scent of her perfume on Sunday mornings.
I miss these memories as much as anyone, but I've never really shared the experience of intense -longing- for them before... just an aching feeling that they're gone, and it's so very wrong.
I was just randomly talking about roadtrips with my neighbor, and describing a two-day long roadtrip with Grandfather, Grandmama, my baby sister, and me... and now I understand what she means. I know that stabbing ache, that incredible longing to be there again.

I'll never be able to... it's done and gone. Forever.