Numb (I Wish)

I think this is beautiful.





Grandmama would've loved it.

She always adored the piano... and the only two 'modern' bands she could recognize/enjoy were Linkin Park and Jimmy Eat World.
She was very sad when I gave up my lessons. Today, it's one of my secret regrets that I refuse to admit to.
(Ask me if I have any regrets. I'll swear, every time, that I don't.)

Weird musical choices though, considering her standard fare of "Golden Oldies" (50s/60s) and Classical Masterpieces (she loved Mozart, Beethoven, and especially Bach).
But she was a weird lady. Weird and awesome. I miss her so much.

Also, 'Numb' in particular has always made me think of my biological mother. Who, as of my last update (I haven't spoken with her since January), is in an actual prison now.

Hopefully she'll stay there until my sister turns 18.
I don't feel bad for turning her in. She was destroying what was left of our broken family.
But I do feel bad. Terrible, even. I stand by my decision, but that doesn't mean it was easy.
I hate her, but she's my 'mother'. I can't hate her without loving her.

Everyone is glad I did it. We're all better off without her.
I wish Grandmama could be here to enjoy how awesome our family really is.

... I wish I could be numb right now.